SHEPHERDING A TEEN'S HEART
About 6 years ago, i went through a Bible Counseling Course and learned how to answer life's questions and challenges Biblicaly, both for myself or anyone who would ask of me. When it comes to children, i have worked with them all in some capacity since 1974 but some people are skeptical of my advice because i do not have children of my own, so i could not possibly know how it is to raise them. But there are those parents in the Lord who put that all aside and just want to talk about what God says in the Bible for our children. When it all washes out, it is what we know of God's word that is most important in raising our children, and on that front, most parents are sore lacking.
This day and age is no doubt an evil time, such as the like of Sodom and the days before the flood. But to live our lives for Jesus and eternity means to be ready for His return each and every day, not counting on tomorrow because we are not promised tomorrow. Biblical principles apply to all believers, young and old, even if the teaching methods are different as we grow.
i have been burdened in my heart for the teens lately because i know many of them and they are dear to my heart. So many say they are "Christian" but are living with a foot in the world, its pleasures and sins. Either not knowing how to stand for Jesus or just not caring because they do not realize the gravity of the situation, because their parents are just as compromising as they are. Where do we think they learn it from?
Most teens are feeling very vulnerable about everything. They worry about their appearance, what friends think, have anxiety about their understanding of life, their personalities, and are unstable in the world of ideas. The teenage years are often years of rebellion, whether simply a misguided attempt to establish individuality or with deeper roots.
A teen falls in with rebellious company because he is a rebel. He does not become a rebel because of the company he keeps. Defiant teens will find each other. Usually the rebellion has been latent all along. Maybe from public reproof of a child too afraid to express his anger at the time.
If you are a parent, youth leader, or have any influence on a teen, here are three Foundations for Life to instill in a teen. These are more solid than our personal ideas of parenting.
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. My son hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother for they will be a graceful ornament on your head, and chains about your neck. My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait to shed blood, let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause, let us swallow them alive like Sheol, and whole, like those who go down to the Pit. We shall find all kinds of precious possessions, we shall fill our houses with spoil, cast in your lot among us, let us all have one purse”. My son, do not walk in the way with them, keep your foot from their path for their feet run to evil and they make haste to shed blood. Surely, in vain the net is spread In the sight of any bird, but they lie in wait for their own blood, they lurk secretly for their own lives. So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain, It takes away the life of its owners." Proverbs 1:7-19
1. The Fear of the Lord, v7. As our teenagers are on the threshold of life independent from us, they are already making choices that have major impact on their lives. Making value decisions every day. We are here to keep them on a Godward orientation, because everyone worships and lives in fear of either God or idols.
Our teens must be motivated by a sense of awe and reverence for God. A moral dread of being displeasing unto Him. Living in accountability to God. God sees it all and everything is open before him, so living in Godly fear means living in full light of God as a holy God who calls his people to holiness, even our children.
Read through the Old Testament's Major and Minor Prophets with our children during their teens. Our culture today suffers from a low view of God and reading the prophets confronts them with a holy God who is awesome and prepared to hold his people accountable. Sobering for us and for them is the realization that a major theme of more than one third of the Bible is judgment. Our teens must be able to understand the truth of God in daily life. To be able to live it out their faith every day.
Teens struggle with the fear of man, worrying about what their friends think of them so we must shepherd them in the direction of living out of the fear of God rather than the fear of man. Show them where they are fearing man, and the futility in it. Share your own experience.
2. Adherence to Parental Instruction, v8-9. The young person who adheres to the instruction of his parents will be richly blessed. Often it is assumed that teens will find their parents irrelevant, a relationship of convenience and necessity rather than choice. But the Word of God holds out a vision of children seeing in their parents a source of wisdom and instruction. Who should be more relevant to our children than their parents? They know them, the nuances of their personalities, their strengths, weaknesses. Parents should understand them and parents should know God. If you have struggled and battled in the Christian life, you understand the disciplines and dangers of Christian living, and the pressures these kids now face. Parents should be committed to them and to God. There is no one who loves them more, who is more deeply committed to them and who accepts them unconditionally. No one who will be more honest or more tender. To abandon the teaching of Mother and Father is lunacy.
Parents must have an honest relationship with their teens. Never giving advice that suits their convenience or that spares them trouble or embarrassment. Remain accessible to instruction. Remain in the truth of God's Word.
A child furnished with biblical instruction has a firm footing in an academic climate where even the teacher may be lost in a sea of no principles or absolutes (Psalm 119:99-100). The context for parental instruction is in daily living as set in Deuteronomy 6. We do not need to be perfect but people of integrity who are living life in the holy and righteous, rich robust truth of the Word of God. Amen.
Family worship provides a special context for instruction, addressing in lively ways the issues your child faces day to day. Study the scriptures together.
3. Disassociation from the Wicked, v10. The genius of this passage is that it does not simply tell us to disassociate with the wicked, it also tells us why our children are attracted by such alliances. Verses 10-19 contain 20 collective pronouns...us.. we.. Teens want to belong. The attraction of giving into the wicked is camaraderie. Young people do not run from places where they are loved and know unconditional acceptance. They do not run away from homes where there are solid relationships. They do not run form homes in which the family is planning activities and doing things. Make home the place they want to be.
The point is, the call to association with the wicked comes to our children. We must work to make home and attractive place to be. Home should be the shelter where the teen is understood and loved, where he is encouraged and shown the paths of life in God.
These three foundations of life should blow through every conversation with our teens, the fear of the Lord, adherence to parental instruction and disassociation from the wicked. When they do, we can expect the favor of the Lord to rest upon our efforts..amen.
This day and age is no doubt an evil time, such as the like of Sodom and the days before the flood. But to live our lives for Jesus and eternity means to be ready for His return each and every day, not counting on tomorrow because we are not promised tomorrow. Biblical principles apply to all believers, young and old, even if the teaching methods are different as we grow.
i have been burdened in my heart for the teens lately because i know many of them and they are dear to my heart. So many say they are "Christian" but are living with a foot in the world, its pleasures and sins. Either not knowing how to stand for Jesus or just not caring because they do not realize the gravity of the situation, because their parents are just as compromising as they are. Where do we think they learn it from?
Most teens are feeling very vulnerable about everything. They worry about their appearance, what friends think, have anxiety about their understanding of life, their personalities, and are unstable in the world of ideas. The teenage years are often years of rebellion, whether simply a misguided attempt to establish individuality or with deeper roots.
A teen falls in with rebellious company because he is a rebel. He does not become a rebel because of the company he keeps. Defiant teens will find each other. Usually the rebellion has been latent all along. Maybe from public reproof of a child too afraid to express his anger at the time.
If you are a parent, youth leader, or have any influence on a teen, here are three Foundations for Life to instill in a teen. These are more solid than our personal ideas of parenting.
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. My son hear the instruction of your father and do not forsake the law of your mother for they will be a graceful ornament on your head, and chains about your neck. My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. If they say, “Come with us, let us lie in wait to shed blood, let us lurk secretly for the innocent without cause, let us swallow them alive like Sheol, and whole, like those who go down to the Pit. We shall find all kinds of precious possessions, we shall fill our houses with spoil, cast in your lot among us, let us all have one purse”. My son, do not walk in the way with them, keep your foot from their path for their feet run to evil and they make haste to shed blood. Surely, in vain the net is spread In the sight of any bird, but they lie in wait for their own blood, they lurk secretly for their own lives. So are the ways of everyone who is greedy for gain, It takes away the life of its owners." Proverbs 1:7-19
1. The Fear of the Lord, v7. As our teenagers are on the threshold of life independent from us, they are already making choices that have major impact on their lives. Making value decisions every day. We are here to keep them on a Godward orientation, because everyone worships and lives in fear of either God or idols.
Our teens must be motivated by a sense of awe and reverence for God. A moral dread of being displeasing unto Him. Living in accountability to God. God sees it all and everything is open before him, so living in Godly fear means living in full light of God as a holy God who calls his people to holiness, even our children.
Read through the Old Testament's Major and Minor Prophets with our children during their teens. Our culture today suffers from a low view of God and reading the prophets confronts them with a holy God who is awesome and prepared to hold his people accountable. Sobering for us and for them is the realization that a major theme of more than one third of the Bible is judgment. Our teens must be able to understand the truth of God in daily life. To be able to live it out their faith every day.
Teens struggle with the fear of man, worrying about what their friends think of them so we must shepherd them in the direction of living out of the fear of God rather than the fear of man. Show them where they are fearing man, and the futility in it. Share your own experience.
2. Adherence to Parental Instruction, v8-9. The young person who adheres to the instruction of his parents will be richly blessed. Often it is assumed that teens will find their parents irrelevant, a relationship of convenience and necessity rather than choice. But the Word of God holds out a vision of children seeing in their parents a source of wisdom and instruction. Who should be more relevant to our children than their parents? They know them, the nuances of their personalities, their strengths, weaknesses. Parents should understand them and parents should know God. If you have struggled and battled in the Christian life, you understand the disciplines and dangers of Christian living, and the pressures these kids now face. Parents should be committed to them and to God. There is no one who loves them more, who is more deeply committed to them and who accepts them unconditionally. No one who will be more honest or more tender. To abandon the teaching of Mother and Father is lunacy.
Parents must have an honest relationship with their teens. Never giving advice that suits their convenience or that spares them trouble or embarrassment. Remain accessible to instruction. Remain in the truth of God's Word.
A child furnished with biblical instruction has a firm footing in an academic climate where even the teacher may be lost in a sea of no principles or absolutes (Psalm 119:99-100). The context for parental instruction is in daily living as set in Deuteronomy 6. We do not need to be perfect but people of integrity who are living life in the holy and righteous, rich robust truth of the Word of God. Amen.
Family worship provides a special context for instruction, addressing in lively ways the issues your child faces day to day. Study the scriptures together.
3. Disassociation from the Wicked, v10. The genius of this passage is that it does not simply tell us to disassociate with the wicked, it also tells us why our children are attracted by such alliances. Verses 10-19 contain 20 collective pronouns...us.. we.. Teens want to belong. The attraction of giving into the wicked is camaraderie. Young people do not run from places where they are loved and know unconditional acceptance. They do not run away from homes where there are solid relationships. They do not run form homes in which the family is planning activities and doing things. Make home the place they want to be.
The point is, the call to association with the wicked comes to our children. We must work to make home and attractive place to be. Home should be the shelter where the teen is understood and loved, where he is encouraged and shown the paths of life in God.
These three foundations of life should blow through every conversation with our teens, the fear of the Lord, adherence to parental instruction and disassociation from the wicked. When they do, we can expect the favor of the Lord to rest upon our efforts..amen.
JESUS IS LORD OF ALL
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